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xing.
current location: singapore.

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layout.
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if absence means everything connected to that entity is absent, the world be a better place. perhaps the most damning feature of the world and us is memories. memories bring the best in us and the ugliest in us. memories help us keep a silver of hope. relive the happy times. know that we were loved. attempt to be evidence of the presence of something we yearn. help us live our lives till the very end. but memories also destroys hope. relive the worst times. know we were hated. know we were unloved. attempt to be evidence of the presence of something we detest. make us want to end our lives. memories remind you. taunt you. haunt you. spur you. they make you feel a sense of lost, or a sense of gain. memories will forever be a double-edged sword. even after the people are long gone, the memories stay with you.

if you leave, you do not bring all the memories etched with your presence with you. it stays with the people. and it can bring both hope and loss. just because hitler died does not mean the second world war and its repercussions do not live on. just because your brother passed away does not mean his love does not stay with you through your life.

it's finally time for me to take a rest. when nothing much is happening anymore and i get to sleep, to stop staring at my phone, to not check my phone, to just do whatever i want, and not live as though i'm on high alert. the results will be released tomorrow. even after all my slogging and grumblings and the effort put in, i know i did not put in my best effort. because halfway through, i got tired. i got frustrated. i just didn't feel like it anymore.

but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright light turns to night
until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic that was you and me.

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others only read of the love
oh, the love that i love

see, i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, for words
more words than i had ever heard
and i feel so alive