Sunday, December 27, 2009
staring.
perhaps if i keep staring at you..the world would melt away.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
try.
if i walk would you run
if i stop would you come
if i say you're the one would you believe me
if i ask you to stay would you show me the way
tell me what to say so you don't leave me
the world is catching up to you
while you're running away to chase your dream.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
six months.
six months can transform your life. within six months everything can change, including the people in your life, the people who are important to you, the things that occupy your thoughts, your day to day routines, your thoughts, your feelings, but how about who you are? there are a lot of people i would not have recognized when i stepped back onto singapore soil on 26th june. a lot of my priorities and loves and thoughts have changed. but what has been the driving force behind this? is this just the environment in singapore, or is it whatever happened in norway and beyond?
been meeting up with so many people i haven't seen since the weeks that i got back, before the start of the semester. but somehow it's as if with some people, the friendship has been altered, and it can never go back to whatever it was. and with some, i cannot even remember the basis and the nature and the state of our friendship from before. just like the few weeks after exams had fundamentally changed something, the six months had moulded my life into a different mould. one that which my closest friends are the furthest away, one that which new people leave footprints, new people make me laugh, new people make me cry.
which is why we often realize that everyone can live without someone. there is no one that you cannot live without in your life. because hate as you must, regret it as much, life goes on. it never stops.
just got my results yesterday. gosh. never done so badly. oh wells.
you keep wanting to believeyou keep on wishingin what is furthest from the truth.in what can perhaps never be the truth.you are afraid.afraid of disappointment.afraid of rejection.afraid of hopelessness.
Monday, December 21, 2009
absence
if absence means everything connected to that entity is absent, the world be a better place. perhaps the most damning feature of the world and us is memories. memories bring the best in us and the ugliest in us. memories help us keep a silver of hope. relive the happy times. know that we were loved. attempt to be evidence of the presence of something we yearn. help us live our lives till the very end. but memories also destroys hope. relive the worst times. know we were hated. know we were unloved. attempt to be evidence of the presence of something we detest. make us want to end our lives. memories remind you. taunt you. haunt you. spur you. they make you feel a sense of lost, or a sense of gain. memories will forever be a double-edged sword. even after the people are long gone, the memories stay with you.
if you leave, you do not bring all the memories etched with your presence with you. it stays with the people. and it can bring both hope and loss. just because hitler died does not mean the second world war and its repercussions do not live on. just because your brother passed away does not mean his love does not stay with you through your life.
it's finally time for me to take a rest. when nothing much is happening anymore and i get to sleep, to stop staring at my phone, to not check my phone, to just do whatever i want, and not live as though i'm on high alert. the results will be released tomorrow. even after all my slogging and grumblings and the effort put in, i know i did not put in my best effort. because halfway through, i got tired. i got frustrated. i just didn't feel like it anymore.
but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright light turns to night
until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic that was you and me.
cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others only read of the love
oh, the love that i love
see, i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, for words
more words than i had ever heard
and i feel so alive
Friday, December 18, 2009
uncle kracker - smile
You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile
Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile
Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile